Stop! Let Me Off the Customer Journey Roller Coaster

"Stop! Let Me Off the Customer Journey Roller Coaster"

My Job Here is Done™ Transcript (for general use only – machine-generated and it may not be accurate.) 

NOTE: This transcript and the audio portion of this episode may contain colorful language that may not be appropriate for all audiences.

Dave (00:08) We've all had this experience.

Kelli (00:10) What experience?

Dave (00:11) You know, you see an Advertisement and you get all interested in learning more about out whatever it is you're feeling, like, super excited, but you're still a little cautious because you kind of don't know.

Kelli (00:21) Yes, I get it. You're asking yourself, is this too good to be true?

Dave (00:25) What's the catch, exactly? Hey, all you want is a good buying experience, right?

Kelli (00:30) Well, that's what you hope for. We hope whatever we're being sold is not only what we think it is, but also hope the buying process is smooth, drama free, and we won't regret it later.

Dave (00:41) You bet. And in business, sometimes making the right buying decision is the key to actually keeping your job. But all too often, the anticipation and excitement of the buying process is replaced with this unsure, uneasy feeling.

Kelli (00:57) Yeah. Should I have given this a little more thought feeling?

Dave (01:01) Are you strapped in for this ride?

Kelli (01:03) I certainly hope so!

Intro (01:06) Hi, I'm Dave and I've been starting and running businesses all my life. And I'm Kelli, working for the man like a dog for decades. And you are you the driven career professional clawing your way up the ladder of success. Maybe running your own business, the next 20 minutes or so is just for you. Welcome to my job here is done. I'm glad that's over.

Dave (01:34) Thanks for joining us today. I'm Dave.

Kelli (01:36) And I'm Kelli, and I seem to have survived that ride. So welcome to the podcast. You look a little peaked, Dave.

Dave (01:42) Yeah, well, I don't do well on roller coasters anymore, I'm afraid.

Kelli (01:45) Oh, that's too bad. Well, take a few deep breaths. You wus ... We have more roller coasters to visit in this podcast amusement park. But before we get started, just a quick reminder that you can learn more about the podcast, listen to all the previous episodes, read our bonus blog material, and interact with us at our website.

Dave (02:03) Myjohnhearto.com, and on social media at myjob podcast. Okay, I'm better now. This is the one about the extra special surprise gift that a new customer often receives when you start working with them. They don't even know it's coming.

Kelli (02:22) It's a free ticket on the Customer Journey roller coaster ride.

Dave (02:26) Today, we're going to explain how leading your prospect and hopefully new customer through your marketing and sales cycle might be like putting them on a rickety old wooden roller coaster. You remember those?

Kelli (02:39) I sure do.

Dave (02:40) Put yourself in their seat, so to speak. Fasten your seatbelt. It's going to be a wild ride.

Kelli (02:47) The lines on those rides can get pretty long.

Dave (02:49) Yeah, that line is where you potential customer make some initial go, no go decisions. Does this seem right for you? Does it look like it's a safe bet? Is it well staffed and maintained?

Kelli (03:02) After all, nobody wants to start something they can't control. You like the looks of the people in the line. You're going to be with a bunch of them for the entire ride.

Dave (03:11) Yeah, this line is kind of like a business or company's marketing lead pipeline. It's where the prospects are, deciding if it's right for them to take the next steps of jumping on board and starting the buying process.

Kelli (03:25) So far, you've made no investment in the ride. Didn't hand in your valuable ticket. You could still jump out of the line and no one will notice. Still pretty safe.

Dave (03:34) Yay. You finally made it through the line. You're next to climb aboard and give this ride a try. It's also the next part of the journey. It's the start of the selling cycle. You step off the platform and into the little small seat you're packed tightly up against. The person sitting next to you a complete stranger at this point, and it can be a little uncomfortable at first.

Kelli (03:57) Yeah. Who's this stranger I'm touching shoulders with?

Dave (04:02) Meet your salesperson.

Kelli (04:04) Hey, at this point, you could still get off the ride, but it's not as easy as if you were still in line.

Dave (04:10) Right, because now you're talking to that person sitting next to you. You're a salesperson and you've introduced yourself. You may have exchanged your name and some other information, stuff like that.

Kelli (04:22) Yeah. And this sales guy doesn't seem like such a bad ride partner.

Dave (04:27) Oh, that's the sound of that fat metal bar locking in place, just as it barely touches your junk. Maybe a little too close for comfort, but you're in.

Kelli (04:37) But now, if you want to leave the ride, you have to get some help from others. The ride attendant, the salesperson.

Dave (04:43) Yeah. You're holding up the ride, and everybody around is looking at you. They're telling you, hey, relax. It's going to be okay. Stay in your seat. Peace and love, along with a little pressure from the gang of other riders close to you because, hey, let's get going.

Kelli (04:59) The roller coaster isn't even moving yet. But you the potential customer on this ride, and your sales buddy, hello, are chatting it up as you wait for the ride to start. You sit there in anticipation and also with a bit of nervous fear of the unknown.

Dave (05:14) Hey, you're going to love this ride. I've taken dozens of my customers on it.

Kelli (05:19) Good. This is my first time. I really need to be right about doing this. It's an important decision for me.

Dave (05:25) Yeah, it's a breeze. The whole process is a well-oiled machine, streamlined and perfected. Hey, as a matter of fact, this roller coaster you're about to ride has an NPS of 99.

Kelli (05:38) Wow. Roller coasters have net promoter scores?

Dave (05:41) Yeah. And guess what? You get a free picture of yourself at the top of the ride.

Kelli (05:45) Oh, cool.

Dave (05:46) Yeah. Look at that tentative expression on your face. It's so adorable.

Kelli (05:50) And so it begins with a sudden shake and rattle. You begin to move on the Customer Journey roller coaster. You start your slow ascent to the top of the climb - way the hell up there -  your sales dude or dudette is wowing you with all the right sales pitches, all the right words.

Dave (06:07) Hey, here are some pictures of other happy customers that ride with me. I've been riding this for over 20 years. I've earned my CRCJB and my NVOCA for the past five years in a row.

Kelli (06:20) Wow. What's a crcjb and Nvoca?

Dave (06:26) Yeah, well, those are industry certifications I've earned. You should be very impressed. The CRCJB? Well, that's the Customer Roller Coaster Journeyman's Badge. And I've had that, like I said, for the last five years. And then I've also got my NVOCA, which I'm most proud of. That's the Never Vomited On a Customer award.

Kelli (06:44) Oh, well, that's very impressive. Has anyone ever been hurt on this journey?

Dave (06:49) No ... Not really ... Hurt. Hey, it's going to be great for you because you're exactly the archetype and persona my marketing department wants on this ride. You're fit and trim, you're healthy and smart, and you're tall enough, said, the little wooden guy with the measuring stick down there below. What do you have to worry about?

Kelli (07:10) You think to yourself, he's right. I don't have to worry. I'm making the right decision. This is going to be just fine. And then right at the apex of the long creep up the steep Hill, you hear the sales guy say.

Dave (07:23) Are you ready for this?

Kelli (07:25) You look over and lock eyes and say, yes, I think so.

Dave (07:29) And voila, The Trial Closes is a success!

Kelli (07:37) This is great. What a feeling. You and your new salesperson friend are on your way to a successful customer journey. As you rock it down that first drop.

Dave (07:47) Nothing could be better.

Kelli (07:49) Where's my pen? You scream as the sales order flaps around in the wind.

Dave (07:54) Then all of a sudden, you hit that first high-speed roller coaster turn. We call this the Contract Turn.

Kelli (08:02) Suddenly, your feeling of thrill is turned into a headbanging, brain hurting, dizzying mess of contract agreement terms that you simply can't possibly agree to. Everything was pretty good up to now, but this contract language. I wasn't expecting this based on the way the first part of the ride went.

Dave (08:21) Don't worry. Our attorney isn't all that good. He caves on a lot of things. We'll get through this together. I'm on your side.

Kelli (08:31) Feeling a bit of temporary relief, suddenly, the coaster switches to a hard left turn with a shuddering roll that tosses your stomach in a knot.

Dave (08:40) It's the Discovery Meeting loop de loop!

Kelli (08:44) On the ride, you thought this part would be easy-peasy after all. You read about how proud they are about it on the customer roller coaster website. But it's a chaotic and unorganized part of the ride. You look around. Nobody on the ride is prepared for this. Maybe it gets better in a minute?

Dave (09:02) Relax, it's going to be easy. Everybody takes this ride right turn.

Kelli (09:07) Now we're slowing down a bit. The screaming stopped. Things are level and smooth. Your salesperson friend looks calm, cool and collected.

Dave (09:16) Hey, it's the perfect time to check in to see how the ride's going.

Kelli (09:19) Well, it started off a bit shaky. Then I thought it was all good. The Contract Turn back there sucked, but we got through it. And then that Discovery Call looped-de-loop was a mess. I hope I don't have to go through that again.

Dave (09:31) Sorry. I should have warned you. We always get a better reaction to that part if you take a second ride.

Kelli (09:37) Whoa, wait. What's this? Another drop off! The customer roller coaster is gaining great speed and heading directly into what appears to be a black hole in the ground.

Dave (09:47) This time, the screams are not of delight, but of fear. You can hear the difference.

Kelli (09:54) What's this black hole called?

Dave (09:56) It's called the Onboarding Tunnel. But so far, there's no light at the end. It's pitch black. The ride is shaking in all directions, and you have no idea what is happening or when it's going to be over.

Kelli (10:12) This is where I will die. You think to yourself.

Dave (10:16) And then after what seems to be a Fortnite.

Kelli (10:19) A Fortnite? Like the video game. You're such a drama Queen.

Dave (10:24) Yes, Kelli, a Fortnite.

Kelli (10:26) Okay.

Dave (10:27) We suddenly emerge from the Onboarding Tunnel, and right in front of you is the end of the ride. After a fast stop, it's over.

Kelli (10:37) The people behind you look sick as hell. Heck, I'm sick as hell. There's a guy up front shaking his fist in the air and yelling "Again! Again!! Again!!!" You look at your sales guy and remark, look at that guy.

Dave (10:49) He's such a card. That's my sales manager!

Kelli (10:56) Ladies and gentlemen, the Customer Journey roller coaster ride is over. Please keep to the right as you exit the platform and enjoy the rest of your career.

Dave (11:05) Are you laughing right now, or do you have that OMG AHA moment look on your face?

Kelli (11:10) Or both?

Dave (11:11) Unfortunately, this type of ride seems to be part of way too many customer journey processes.

Kelli (11:18) We gave you the script just now. Can you use it to replace your own customer journey steps? The ones you use at your business into the roller coaster story? Ask what surprises, bad turns, and dark holes you have that make a prospect or customer feel as if your journey to what should be a great solution is not smooth and refined.

Dave (11:37) This hopefully amusing story depicts a reality that is present in many - actually kind of far too many - customer journeys that we've seen. If you look at each turn, each loop-de-loop and every Hill and Valley in your customer journey, you are going to find parts that need to be changed to smooth the process out. To compete successfully, and to win more business, a smooth customer journey experience is an absolute must. Here's an idea. Convert a stressful roller coaster type journey with those sudden twists and turns and surprise drops off proverbial cliffs, to a more smooth, predictable and relaxed amusement park train ride.

Kelli (12:20) Where the line leading to the train ride - Your prospect and lead funnel - offers guidance and marketing that helps create curiosity in the prospect's mind for what happens next.

Dave (12:28) Yeah, and as your customer is stepping onto the train, that's the start of the selling cycle. They're comfortable and not forced to squish in too tightly or feel as if they're trapped by a locked bar. Your story is now one of fluid forward motion with no sudden or unexpected events.

Kelli (12:46) As the train travels on its smooth and predictable journey, you'll easily point out product and service sites to see in every direction. It will inspire comfortable conversation that will help uncover the important value propositions that are important to your customer and at each of the planned stops along the way.

Dave (13:03) Such as the contract stop, the Discovery call, Stop, the onboarding Stop, to name a few. You'll replace those with your own. There is a well-laid out plan on how long it's going to be before each stop, what actions and options you have to consider at each stop and you'll gain a good sense of the timing for the entire customer journey train ride. The whole ride is designed to be predictable and enjoyable and most importantly, effective.

Kelli (13:32) We can guarantee that if you ask the customer who rode in our roller coaster story just now, if they'd get back on that ride again, the answer would be a hard hell no, absolutely not.

Dave (13:44) And worse. In fact, much worse. Even if they tolerated that ride and all of the emotions they had to go through to get to the end and they actually became your customer. If a friend or colleague of theirs asked them if they should ride to, the answer is going to be no far more often than yes. And if they do give a yes to that question to somebody else, it's always going to have a warning with it. You do not want or need that bad mojo in your pipeline, in your customer experience, in the way you do business.

Kelli (14:21) Thank you very much for listening today. ... Hey, where are you going?

Dave (14:25) I've got the sudden urge for making candied apples.

Kelli (14:28) Oh, and don't forget the cotton candy. Wait up, I'll help. If you like our podcast, please tell a friend about us. Just one friend or colleague who you think would enjoy the content and stories we share. You can listen to my Job Here Is Done anywhere and everywhere. Podcasts are available and check out our website for all the latest info on the show and how you can work with us at my Job Here Is Done.com.

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